


Be More Than Disgrace

by koanju (verstehen)



Category: Naruto
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2006-09-11
Updated: 2006-09-10
Packaged: 2017-10-17 16:01:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/178524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/verstehen/pseuds/koanju
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Sometimes nothing is a very cool hand to have."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Be More Than Disgrace

**Author's Note:**

> Written a really really really long time ago, before SPOILERS HAPPENED in canon, so technically AU. I don't know if I'll ever come back to it, but I'd really like to. I enjoyed the plot I had laid out in my head.

This time Uzumaki Naruto could safely and simply blame it on the old hag. It had been her fault. Of course he knew that sitting still and reading weren't exactly two of his best skills and she'd taken it upon herself as a personalized mission to correct both - lecturing long and hard (by use of thumping her fist into his head when his attention wandered) - during the daily 'How To Be A Hokage and Not Act Like A Flaming Idiot' sessions he had with her. Naruto had lost all his illusions about being Hokage fairly quickly. It seemed like the only people who respected Tsunade were the clients and Tonton. And there was no way he was ever spending all his time working on paperwork the way she did. He still desperately wanted to protect the village, protect everything and everyone in Konoha that he loved, but Naruto was starting to think he'd probably be better off acting as an ANBU captain or some other equally high rank pre-emptive ninja. That way he could stop problems before they got to Konoha and not just sit around signing crap until the shit really hit the fan and he was _finally_ called to do something in defense of the city. It wasn't like the Hokage could really go out and hunt missing nins, now was it?

So it was definitely the hag's -- and her stupid lessons -- fault. It was also probably the stupid super pervert's fault too, come to think of it, because he was the one who'd talked the hag into grounding him to the village during the current Akatsuki crisis because he believed that since Naruto held the last tailed beast for them to collect, all nine might come after them. The current crisis that had lasted, so far, six damn months and showed no signs of ending. Or signs of the stupid members coming after him. He sort of wished they would already because it meant that Uchiha Itachi would probably be there and if Itachi was there, Sasuke was sure to follow. Then he could do his whole psycho obsessed thing, kill his brother and finally come home after five years of being a prick. At least they'd managed to stop the whole body-stealing thing two years ago. On the other hand, if they did all come after him, he was in the middle of _Konoha._

It'd been really - glorious, weird, freaky, _good_ \-- the way the four of them had clicked right back into Team Seven again so easily as they burst into Orochimaru's chambers, Kabuto's blood still covering his face, and shouting nonsense about how 'You can't kill your brother if he's you!' Kakashi-sensei had nearly lost his other eye and Sakura had been in a coma for a month afterward but the four of them had managed to kill Konoha's second strongest and notorious missing ninja (second only to Uchiha Itachi). Naruto had graciously let Sasuke hold the snake pervert in some weird technique he'd never seen before while he shoved his fox-induced clawed hands into Orochimaru's chest and yanked out his heart.

That was the first time Naruto had really felt hate. He would be sixteen in a month.

He'd crushed the heart in his hand and told Sasuke to come home. Sasuke had smirked, that expression on his face that always made Naruto want to punch him to get it off, and said no before stepping closer to Naruto and raising his hands, obviously in some attempt to start some freaky perverted technique Orochimaru had probably taught him. That had been the last thing Naruto heard before passing out. Neji and Shikamaru's team had managed to get them out before the remaining members of Sound had taken care of them but they hadn't managed to catch Sasuke.

So it was the old hag's fault he was sitting at his desk on the side of the Hokage's room, staring down with shaking hands at The File. It instantly gained capital letters as soon as he'd read this particular page and it was the hag that had given him the assignment to get him out of her hair. She'd taken him to one of the huge storage rooms and pointed to a cabinet. "Those are all the active -" (Naruto instantly translated that to 'still alive'). "Konoha shinobi. If you want to be Hokage, brat, you better start learning your people." She'd thunked him on the head and ruffled his hair before turning to head back to her own desk full of paperwork. Naruto, with his usual love for rules and proper order, had randomly grabbed about thirty files and carried them back to his desk. He'd learned a lot more about the jounin, chuunin and genin in Konoha's employ than he really wanted to. Like Shiranui Genma's lack of ability to swim. Or the fact that Gai's father was the one that made those horrible green suits he and Lee wore.

Or the fact that, rather than viciously massacring his clan and psychologically torturing his younger brother into becoming a massive hateful prick, fourteen year old Uchiha Itachi's last act in Konoha was to save Uzumaki Naruto's life from three villagers who were outside of his apartment plotting to kill him.

"Brat." He swallowed and ignored her, staring hard at the tiny black print that linked his and Itachi's names together in Itachi's file, like it was some fucked up destiny that forced him and fucked up Uchihas together. "Brat, what's wrong?" The old hag was standing next to him before he realized and she yanked the file out of his hands. "Naruto, you're supposed to start with A and go to Z," she said calmly.

"That's boring," he said weakly, not looking up from the desk. "Why do you think he did it? Was he in Akatsuki even then?"

"Because the kid's a headcase, Naruto. If you really want to know, capture him and have Ibiki ask." She snapped the file closed and dropped it back on his desk. "Put those away and go home. You've been useless all day."

Naruto looked up at her seriously and nodded. "Sure, old hag." That made her smile, just a little, before she flicked him with her finger and sent him crashing to the floor.

At least he was getting better. Two years ago, that would have sent him all the way across the room. Maybe it was time to try and find a team and apply for a promotion. It wasn't so much that he was really looking forward to being a squad leader and having people follow him around doing his biding (Naruto easily ignored the irony of not wanting to be responsible for a team but still wanting to be Hokage) it was more that being a genin really sucked, even if the hag did give him B and A ranked missions. The salary cap just had to go. Not to mention the stigma of being Konoha's oldest genin since Kabuto. Not that Kabuto counted. But still, it was pretty embarrassing.

"Hey, old hag?" he asked quietly, shoving the files in his desk, making sure to slip Itachi's file in his coat without her seeing. He wanted to read it, memorize it, burn it into his brain, and there was no way he could do it with Tsunade standing over him like a mother hen. "When and where's the next chuunin exam? I'm kinda tired of being a genin."

"Sand and in six months. If we get word back from Jiraiya, I'll let you go. I'll even find you two team members to participate with." He grinned at her, genuinely pleased with the offer.

"Thanks!" He rubbed his knuckles together eagerly. He was itching for a good fight with someone who wasn't Sakura, Kakashi-sensei, the perverted hermit, or Kiba. Sai put up a good fight too but lately ANBU had been too busy for them to get together. It was too bad; Naruto kinda missed the penis-obsessed freak.

He didn't miss the comments about the size of his dick, though.

"Now get outta here before I change my mind." She pointed to the door and Naruto did what he was told, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets and hurrying out. He nodded to the guards and people scurrying around with messages and assignments outside and pondered what to do with his unexpected spare time. It was too early in the afternoon to head over to the hospital to pick Sakura up from her shift, classes hadn't ended at the Academy so Iruka-sensei wasn't free, Kiba and Kakashi-sensei were both on missions (Naruto knew this because mission assignments were now one of his primary responsibilities; frankly he just thought the old hag was too lazy to do it herself because if he could do it without screwing things up too badly, anyone could. Of course, Naruto would rather die than admit he actually found it kinda fun to try and match up the right people and skills with the mission assignments they had. It was like trying to pull together a good prank; you needed to have the right supplies, the right timing and the right plan for it to be successful. Mission assignments were basically the same, only on a bigger scale. And it was a whole hell of a lot of fun to assign crappy D rank missions to genin. _Especially_ Konohamaru.) so sparring with them was out. He supposed he could go train but...

God, he was so bored. His life was so _boring._ He even almost missed the tedium and annoyance of doing D ranked missions like weeding or finding the infamous Tora-chan.

He wanted to be working. Doing something. It kept him from thinking. Almost against his will, his left hand fluttered up to where the file was tucked away in his jacket and he clenched his fist. Had Uchiha Itachi been connected with Akatsuki even ten years ago? Why hadn't he simply taken Naruto back then, if he was? Was there some weird time component with their actions?

The last question was the only one that Naruto really had any sort of answer for: yes. What time had to do with their plans he didn't have a clue though. He didn't have a clue what their plans were at all and it wasn't like the pervert or the hag were telling him anything, much to his dismay. He'd argued over and over that since he was the one threatened, he _deserved_ to know. That argument had failed to hold water over and over; both of them simply put him off and told him to go back to work (or training, depending on who he was pestering).

He grinned a little and let his hand drop away from the file. Naruto might not know anything but he had a sneaking suspicion who might have a good idea of what was going on. And with the proper... motivation, Shikamaru might even be convinced to share the wealth.

He set off, a new spring in his step.

\---

Hatake Kakashi surveyed the remains of the of the Mist ninja camp he'd just finished decimating. He was out of practice and, as much as he cringed to admit it, getting old. Ten years ago, this sort of assassination and recapture mission wouldn't have taken him more than five minutes to complete. Now it took nearly twenty to subdue his three enemies and find the hidden scrolls detailing Mist's plans involving the upcoming Chuunin exams as well as the layout and plans for the Kazekage tower that he had been sent to retrieve.

On the other hand, a part of him couldn't help but be slightly pleased with his former student's trust in him to still complete any and all mission that came his way. Even their failure, multiple times over, concerning Sasuke hadn't dimmed Naruto's respect for the man he still called Kakashi-sensei. Especially since he knew how hard sending the people he considered precious off on B, A or in Kakashi's case, S-ranked missions was for the young man. There had been a faint blush, along with the look of pride, when he'd handed Kakashi the mission scroll. It was only later, reading it at his small home, that he realized what was behind that look. Gaara's request had specifically asked for Naruto to handle the mission. Obviously the Kazekage hadn't heard about Tsunade-sama's edict restricting Naruto to Konoha. It had to have hurt the kid to pass up a friend's request.

Kakashi had never really been sure what happened out in the forest, when Naruto, Nara and Sakura had trailed after Sasuke and Gaara during the invasion during the Chuunin exam. Sasuke had never talked about it, Sakura had been unconscious, Nara had been left behind and Kakashi had sensed that asking Naruto wouldn't give him an answer. But whatever had passed that day, it had started to irrevocably change their world. That fight, Kakashi knew, had been part of the reason why Sasuke left. That fight, he knew, was part of the reason Gaara had turned from being psychotically bloodthirsty to the quiet, shrewd Kazekage that had been feared and respected for the last four years.

He sighed briefly, shaking his head at the turn of his thoughts, and quickly set about eliminating any traces of the camp or the Mist ninjas he'd killed. It wouldn't do for anyone to follow their trail -- _or mine,_ a quiet inner voice said -- back to the Hidden Village of Sand.

Nor would it be good to let any of the lingering traces of deep, dark chakra remain. His nose told him the meeting had probably happened in the twelve hours before his arrival, if a little sooner.

Once the camp was clear and the bodies were nothing but dust in the wind, Kakashi bit his thumb and summoned Pakkun. "Yo!" The little dog held up a paw and Kakashi obediently reached down and rubbed him behind the ears.

"I need you to deliver a message to Hokage-sama, Pakkun. And I need it there yesterday."

Pakkun's paw dropped and he nodded seriously. "What happened? You're not injured or you would have called one of the bigger dogs to carry you back."

Kakashi sighed and scratched his cheek gingerly. "Make sure to deliver the message when Naruto isn't around, all right?" As soon as Pakkun nodded affirmatively, he continued. "Uchiha Itachi was here, meeting with the Mist ninjas. Akatsuki must be planning something for the Chuunin exams."

Pakkun sniffed the air delicately and held up his paw again. "Are you sure it's a good idea to keep it from the pup?"

"I think it's not my decision," he said firmly. "Or yours." He let his voice lighten, go lazy, to take the sting out of the reprimand. It amused him how fond of Naruto the little dog was, after their missions together. He supposed it was only reasonable, given the way the blond could change hearts and influence people. "And given the way Hokage-sama treats him, I think she'd probably like to know first."

Pakkun dropped his paw again and disappeared in a puff of white smoke, off to do Kakashi's bidding.

Sighing softly and touching the scrolls tucked away in his vest, Kakashi decided to leave himself. After all, he was still a good day's travel from Sand and information about Akatsuki was something Gaara had a vested interest in, even if he didn't carry a demon any longer.

Naruto was the only one left. It was a fact they were all very well aware of.

Naruto most of all.

\---

It wasn't his favorite place in Konoha but, Naruto mused, it was definitely in the top five. No matter the season -- not that Konoha, or the whole of Fire Country, had much in the way of a winter -- the grass was always green and the trees provided just the right amount of shade to lie in the sun and relax without worrying about sweating from the heat. It was usually quiet, being out of the way of most of the main trafficed areas and not an authorized training area.

It was also the best place to find Nara Shikamaru when he wasn't at home or with Asuma.

"Oi, Shikamaru!" Naruto called as he jogged up the hill, expecting to see his friend's lanky form sprawled out, his hands back under his head as he stared at the clouds.

"Naruto," the lazy reply drifted down to him seconds before he reached the other man.

Shikamaru had really grown up over the years. It'd been strange enough to see him when Naruto had come back from training with Jiraiya and kept getting stranger. Shikamaru was tall. Really tall. He easily topped six feet and from what Naruto could tell, he was still growing. He was still slim and toned, amazing given how little Naruto had ever seen him train.

On the other hand, Shikamaru was one of the most trusted and reliable jounin in Konoha. His brain made up for any faults he had in work ethic (though, to be fair, he'd gotten a lot less lazy as he got older). His efficiency was legendary, taking the record for completing an _S-class mission_ within three days.

Naruto dropped down beside him, crossing his legs and stretching out. He watched the clouds for a few minutes before pointing at one in particular. "Hey, that one sort of looks like Ino when she's pissed, doesn't it?"

"You came here wanting something," Shikamaru said, sounding a little amused. Naruto turned his head to the side to look at him, feeling the smile unwillingly shift off his face. "What for?"

"You were always too smart for me, Shikamaru!" Naruto complimented him, chuckling wryly despite how serious he felt inside. "I sort of need a favor."

"I gathered that." His eyes closed and he didn't look over at Naruto.

"Right." He scratched his cheek, feeling the faint lines of the marks there. Jiraiya had told him they were part of his bonding with the fox; something left over from when the dark chakra had entered his body and caught.

Jiraiya had also told him that the Fourth had tried the sealing technique on five other babies before Naruto. All the babies born that day. They'd all died horribly disfigured. Fangs, claws, one even had grown a tail. Paws, real whiskers, spotted fur. It varied, Jiraiya said, but each had been a little more grotestque than the next. After each attempt failed, the roaring of the fox grew more wild and furious. It probably felt the chakra being siphoned away and fought against each time.

But it'd liked something about Naruto's stomach. His soul.

While no one but the parents of those other five babies (the few that might have survived the onslaught and near destruction of Konoha's hospital), the Third, and the Fourth's ANBU guards knew of the other babies, of their disfigurements, Naruto had spent three days not sleeping, just thinking about what that meant.

 _Am I really human?_

It was no surprise the villagers hated him.

"You're not going to get any sort of favor by not asking for it," Shikamaru said, breaking into his thoughts. Naruto hadn't realized he'd fallen silent for so long.

"Shikamaru, I need you to tell me everything you know about Akatsuki, their plans and what they want to do with the demons."

"That's an S-class secret." Shikamaru sighed. "And you know Hokage-sama doesn't want you to know."

"I know... some. I'm not stupid." From Shikamaru's raised eyebrows, he protested that statement. "I'm not!" Naruto said, frowning and sitting up. "I'm not stupid, okay? It's just --" He stopped. There was no way to explain it, not really. No way that wasn't an excuse. And besides, Naruto had to admit that he could be pretty dense at times. But he wasn't stupid and he wasn't unobservant. "Look. I saw what they did to Gaara. I've seen what they do to cities and towns when they come after the bijuu. I know what's going to happen. I need to know why. What they want to accomplish."

Shikamaru sighed again and sat up, pulling his legs forward and bending them so he could rest his forearms on his knees. "We don't know."

"You have to have some sort of idea! You're the genius here!"

"Naruto." Shikamaru's voice was soft but there was a note of finality and he knew this was the last on the subject that Naruto would get him to say. "The only person not in Akatsuki would might be able to answer a question like that, simply on speculation, would be Orochimaru. We don't know."

He sagged back down onto the ground, tearing at the grass with his fingers, the blades light against his hands as he brutally ripped them up and out of the ground. "Oh." He avoided looking at Shikamaru, not wanting to see the expression on his face. It might be that lazy, uncaring face he always made, but Naruto thought it might have a hint of pity.

He hated pity. It was worse than the fear or the anger.

"I guess I'll find out sooner or later. I won't let them take me without a fight." He punched his left fist into his right palm. "And I'm damn well going to get some answers."

Shikamaru gave an amused snort. "You're still the most troublesome ninja I know. I'm sure they're going to have headache after headache when they come for you."

The words warmed him and he let go of the grass. "Thanks, Shikamaru."

"Anytime, Naruto."  



End file.
